Unplugging

I didn't blog last week.  But there was a reason.  I decided to take the social media fast for 7 days.  And I kind of decided to just unplug from most things for a week because I recognized that I really needed it.  It was eye opening to me how hard it was for me to delete my instagram app on my phone.  I have deleted my facebook app multiple times before. And have always felt better after unplugging.  But this was my first time giving up Instagram, and my blog, and all of the things that I felt was forcing me to look at my phone constantly.  Or that I felt was putting pressure on me in any way.

And I feel renewed.  And I feel like a solid bad habit was broken.  Yes, I have since reinstalled instagram on my phone. But I feel like I have looked at it a lot less and haven't had that urge to scroll as much.  Now of course I'm going to have to keep this in check because it will be *so* easy to fall right back into allowing Instagram to consume my life.

But I guess the main point here is this.  We always have these things that consume our lives.  And for some reason or another, we just can't seem to break away.  And there's all of these reasons in our minds as to why we can't give it up.  " But then I won't know when so and so had their baby." or "But then I won't know what happens next in the next season of that really inappropriate show I shouldn't be watching in the first place." or "but this is keeping me connected to my friends."  But at what cost? At the cost of melting your brains cells from staring at a screen all day? At missing out on building relationships with the people right in front of you? Of telling your children that your phone/computer is more important to you than they are?

I took an inventory of my life and I realize that I need to unplug way more often.  And I need to figure out a system that works.  Because there is of course so much good that comes from social media.  But it doesn't need to consume my life.  And the weirdest part? Is that once I deleted my app- after the first initial day of shock, I didn't even miss all of the things that I was so worried about missing.  Because I was filling my time with much more fulfilling things.  It's funny how sometimes we think it's going to be so so hard to give something up and we are so afraid to do it.  But then once we do, it somehow wasn't that bad.  And the benefits far outweighs the downsides.  And that lesson can definitely be applied in other areas of life.

Even with having children, for example.  It can be really daunting to start a family.  Because you are giving up your freedom.  You are giving up your spontaneity, your sleep, your free time, your stain free clothing, your ability to give people rides in the back seat of your car without moving huge carseats, your money to spend on yourself freely, your clean toy free home, and so much more.  But wow do the benefits outweigh all of that.  Right? You gain unconditional love, a little person that loves you even when you just lost your cool with them 30 seconds ago, a little person that thinks you are the coolest person in the world that knows everything about everything, the magic of seeing someone go to the zoo for the first time, that feeling where they are inconsolable and yet you are that person that can calm them down, that feeling of just wanting a break and then as soon as they go to bed, you pull your phone out to look at pictures of them and miss them, the opportunity to watch your spouse become a parent, allowing you to appreciate them in an entirely new way, and so SO much more.

Sacrificing little conveniences in our lives can often lead to the great blessings.  I read "A Gentleman in Moscow" a while back.  (amazing read if you are looking for one) And the main character at one point says that it is the inconveniences in his life that have ended up bringing him the most joy.  And that has really stuck with me.  Doing convenient, easy things, doesn't bring you true happiness.  Yes it brings you immediate pleasure sometimes, but it doesn't last.  Unplugging from that little thing that you are maybe a little too addicted to is maybe the answer to that prayer you keep repeating over and over.

So here it is. What I pondered during my 7 day fast.  And I'm glad I did it.  And I want to figure out how to unplug more from things that aren't bringing joy into my life. And I want to plug in to things that make me truly happy.

Be One

I was able to watch the "Be One" celebration over the weekend for our church.  It was a celebration of the 40th anniversary of allowing all worthy men to be ordained to the priesthood.  And it was particularly celebrating the event of black men being able to receive the priesthood.  I cannot begin to describe how inspiring this program was!

I am so grateful for how much the African American culture has brought to our church, and watching this program made me realize how much I truly have to learn from their stories.  Black American pioneer stories as well as Black African pioneer stories.  When I use the word pioneer, I mean new to the gospel, not necessarily people who walked the plains (although there were a few accounts of blacks who walked the plains as well.) It is truly amazing to me how much they have gone through with racism, prejudice and segregation and yet their stories tell of only strength, persistence, and faith in the one true God.  The stories of the hardships that were shared during the program gave me renewed strength in facing my own hardships in life.

And wow was that music powerful! I still cannot get over it.  (I watched it today actually).  And that opening song by the choir brought me to tears immediately and I just cried throughout the rest of the program.  Gospel music is so so powerful.  Reverent music can bring the spirit as well, but I have to be honest.  I feel it much more strongly when people are raising their voices in grand amens, praising the Lord with all that they have.  That's what inspires me.  And that's what the African American community has brought to our church.  And I only hope to see more of it!

I just have to share the lyrics of the opening song they sang, "More than I Can Bear." Because those words were just so so beautiful and touched me so deeply.

I've gone through the fire

And I've been through the flood

I've been broken into pieces

Seen lightning flashing from above

But through it all, I remember

That he loves me

And he cares

And he'll never put more on me

Than I can Bear

...

His Word said he won't

I Believe It

I received it

I claim it

It's mine

(my deliverance)

It's mine

(My healing)

It's mine

(my joy)

No He'll never put more on me

Than I can Bear

Powerful stuff. Now imagine listening to it with a huge choir of powerful voices, giving it all they've got.  Mind. Blown.  (Look it up on you tube, seriously). The African American community has gone through so so much in American history and the history of the world.  And yet through it all, they have so much strength to offer and they are such an example of faith to me.  And they still go through so much.  Seeing the meshing of their culture with our church culture was so so cool.  And I'm just happy this program was put on and that I got to be a part of it (in the viewing it from my couch sort of way.) 

I'm so glad we have opportunities to learn from each other. And that through sharing our differences and our experiences with each other, we can truly work towards becoming one.  We can all do better with our own prejudices and to do that we must be willing to learn from one another and "Be One," as the title of the program suggests.  I know hearing different experiences of Black members of our church through this program has inspired me in so many ways.  I want to be better and to do all that I can to become one with all of my brothers and sisters of the world.