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Silent Night

I have found it quite difficult to catch onto the Christmas spirit this year. And I'm not really sure why. I've made the gingerbread houses, created the christmas cards, watched the christmas movies, made the christmas countdowns, listened to the christmas music, and yet nothing seems to register the "christmas feel" into my soul. I look around my house with all of its decorations and still feel that somehow, it just isn't christmas time. It can't be. Wasn't it just August?

The previous paragraph describes how I have been feeling every single day since Thanksgiving ended. But something changed yesterday. Yesterday was the christmas program at church. It was full of music, which was so wonderful. I woke up in the morning and felt like it was just any other Sunday morning. Since I'm the ward choir pianist, we were practicing for the final time before church. The choir was singing Silent Night and The First Noel. As we practiced Silent Night, a calm feeling came over me and for the first time this season, I started to feel the christmas spirit! I was quickly reminded of the beauty and miraculous circumstances of the night of the Lord's birth. Had I just forgotten that Christ is the reason for the season? Apparently so. Tears were brought to my eyes as I pondered on the words of this sared hymn. And that is not something that occurs often, trust me.

I picture myself being there on that holy night. Time must have stood still. The humble shepards must have stood in awe as they viewed this wonderful baby that would one day serve a mission that only He could serve. He would perform miracles, serve everyone around him, teach the gospel, and ultimately atone for every single person's sins. As I look down on the Christ child with these shepards, the entire world is still going on around us, but somehow we are all unaware of anything else that is going on outside of this stable. Whether noise was being made or not, we didn't hear it. For in this small instance, everything is perfectly silent. Everything. What a powerful and mighty moment, for without it, the world would not be the same.

Silent night, holy night

All is calm, all is bright

Round yon Virgin Mother and Child

Holy infant so tender and mild

Sleep in heavenly peace

Sleep in heavenly peace

Silent night, holy night!

Shepards quake at the sight

Glories stream from heaven afar

Heavenly hosts sing Alleluia

Christ, the Savior is born

Christ, the Savior is born

Silent night, Holy night

Son of God, love's pure light

Radiant beams from Thy holy face

With the dawn of redeeming grace

Jesus, Lord, at Thy birth

Jesus, Lord, at Thy birth

This song has slowly made a biggere impact on me every single Christmas. And this year I have finally realized that although I have never actually recognized it consciously, it is my favorite sacred hymn. Although there are so many other good ones, somehow this one is always in the back of my mind, reminding me of that sacred moment in time. Before I sign off, I'd like to share a story with you that really touched me as well. It's written by an LDS missionary about his first Christmas away from home in St. Petersburg.

"It was Christmas Eve around the world, but just another frosty December night in St. Petersburg, Russia. This country celebrated no such holiday.

Our zone had just presented a Christmas program in the huge Kazanski Cathedral, where we sang Christmas songs and read from the book of Luke. It seemed as if our words and notes drifted up to the lofty ceiling and were swallowed by the darkness. But the sparse audience, mostly members and investigators, had partaken of the Spirit.

Our missionary work hadn’t been going well. People didn’t want to listen to two humble young men give them a message of redeeming love. Perhaps because of my discouragement, the Christmas celebration planned for later that evening didn’t hold much appeal for me.

My boots kicked up some new fallen snow and I shoved my bare hands deeper into my pockets. My gloves had been misplaced at a hotel a few days earlier. In this country, you don’t just walk into a store and buy gloves. You need to search.

Suddenly, Elder Redd sat down on a bench in the small park in front of the cathedral. I thought, Oh, now what? I just want to go home where it’s warmer.

Home was not the right thing to think about. It brought a flood of memories I really didn’t want to ponder right then. This was my first Christmas away, and I was feeling down. Where were all the decorations and the hustle and bustle of the holiday season? What about stockings, Christmas trees, and nativity scenes?

We hadn’t been able to get through to the international operator, so it looked as if I couldn’t make my phone call home either.

Tears welled in my eyes. I turned around so my back was to the wind. As I faced the cathedral, everything began to grow quiet. I looked at the majestic structure in front of me, bathed in pale, green light. The stars above were pin dots on a black shade, radiating calmness and peace.

“Silent night, holy night; all is calm, all is bright. …” The phrases softly entered my mind and drifted in whispers from my lips. “Sleep in heavenly peace, sleep in heavenly peace.” Elder Redd heard me and joined in a little bit louder. There was a feeling of reverence.

As we sang the second and third verses, a warm realization came to me. The joy, happiness, and peace at Christmas come from within. The material things and outward symbols of celebration bring sweet feelings, but only for a short moment.

Instantly, the thought of sharing Christmas with the other elders became appealing. It would be a gathering of friendship and love. We missionaries all needed to strengthen each other.

Christmas is what you make of it. It doesn’t matter if you’re with family and friends or halfway around the world. The real gifts at Christmastime are the fruits of the Spirit. Paul said, “The fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith” (Gal. 5:22). Could one ask for anything more during the celebration of Christ’s birth? "

Until next time! Merry Christmas!

I'm officially old

Yes- that's right. I am officially 22 years old now, therefore making me old. I have felt old every year since I turned 17 though- so I guess this year shouldn't be any different. My birthday was on Tuesday. The day started out kind of rough actually. It might have something to do with the fact that I'm very sensitive on my birthday in the first place, but here's what happened: I have institute every Tues and Thurs morning at 10, as you all know. I got to institute that day in plenty of time to get a parking spot and everything. The parking lot was entirely full, however. This is not uncommon, so you usually have to drive around for a bit to wait for someone to leave so that you can take their spot. I was not so fortunate this time, however. I drove around for 20ish minutes, trying to find a spot. At this point my class was already started and going, so I ended up just leaving because I could never find a spot. I love my institute class, so this was most upsetting. Then I had some time to kill so I decided that it was time to get my Utah driver's license. I kind of had to anyway because my Missouri one was expiring that day... haha. So I go to the licensing office in Provo, only to find out that I had to go to a different one in Orem, where they offer the written test. The lady gives me the address and I leave. I put the address in my iphone and route the way. At the end of the route on my phone however, I am sitting in front of a residential home in Orem with no licensing office in sight. I then decide that this address must be a typo or something, so I look up the office on my phone, which gives me a different address. After routing the way to this new address, I quickly realize that this was also a mistake, for I end up in the middle of a construction zone. At this point I am extremely frustrated and find myself yelling at my phone, other cars, etc. When I look down at the address I had originally put in my phone, I realize that I had put South intead of North, which is why I was taken to the wrong place originally. I finally find the place and end up having to take the written test to get my Utah license. Good thing it was open book, because I definitely would have failed had it not been. This test seemed much harder than the one I took when I was 15 in MO. But hey, that was ages ago. But hey- at least I have a valid license once again.

After this whole fiasco, my friend Justin came down and we went shopping for candy, graham crackers, and icing ingredients for my gingerbread house party that I was having that night. Afterwords we went to the mall to shop around and then had dinner at PF Changs- my favorite! During this time I was able to relax and get in a better mood, fortunately. When we got home, I made icing and prepared my house for gingerbread house making. I'd say it went very well- and everyone seemed to have fun. Below is a picture of the house I made.

Making gingerbread houses is one of my favorite things to do- so I was able to be in a great mood by the end of the night. I also got some great gifts from the fam- including a camera from my mom and the Edward Cullen barbie from my dad. haha! I must say that was truly unexpected! Well hopefully I'll be able to make many more gingerbread houses before the season is over!