2018: The year of TRUST

OK first of all- what do you all say? Twenty-Eighteen? or Two thousand-eighteen? I have found myself saying both lately and can't decide which I prefer.  Fortunately this isn't a podcast so I don't really have to decide. :)

I've been asked by a few people how I come up with the word that I choose for each year. In general, I take a look at what my year is going to look like and decide what word will benefit me the most to get me through whatever it may be that happens.  For example, in 2016, my word was embrace because I knew that we were going to be moving and I would be in a new place with new people and basically new everything.  I knew that I would need to embrace the large amount of changes that were coming up to survive the year with any kind of happiness.  And it worked! In 2017, I chose the word faith for a few reasons.  First, I felt that my faith had been broken due to not matching in the year 2016 and that I wanted it to be restored.  And second, I knew I would need a deeper understanding of faith to face what happened with the match in 2017.  You can read my post from March of last year to catch you up on that situation.  I also liked the idea of picking a gospel centered word to help guide my study and prayer throughout the year.

So that brings me to 2018. I wasn't quite ready to give up focusing on the word faith, so wanted a word similar.  Especially since we are heading into yet another match season with a lot of unknown ahead of us.  As I read my patriarchal blessing, general conference talks, and the scriptures, I noticed a strong link between the words faith and trust.  So I started down the trust path, but not fully committing to it yet.  Two seemingly small and insignificant things happened to me at the end of the year that solidified my choice, however.

Ben was working the overnight shifts over Christmas, which left Flint and I by ourselves for Christmas Day while Ben slept.  I decided that I would take Flint to his first movie theater movie as a special treat and so we could get out of the house.  We went and saw Coco- highly recommend by the way! One of the previews before the movie began was for "A Wrinkle in Time." And there is this scene where two of the characters are in the midst of a crazy storm, unsure of what to do.  And the girl yells to the boy, "Do you trust me?!" And she is obviously about to do something crazy to survive this storm (not sure what- I will have to go see this movie I suppose...) and the boy says "I trust you!" And I immediately got teary (I was also 39 weeks pregnant) and thought about how this little scene could so easily represent God and myself.  The fear of the unknown and the stress of not knowing what is going to happen next can easily feel like a storm.  And we can often feel like we are going to get swallowed up in the waves of worry.  But God always has His hand reached out to us.  And He is always there, ready to ask, "Do you trust me?" And it's up to me to decide how to answer that question.  I've had times in my life where I've lost my focus and convince myself that I'm alone out there, drowning.  But when I've taken the time to recenter my life on Christ, I always find Him, and His hand is always there.  I just need to say "Yes! I trust you!" And I want 2018 to be the year where I am fully centered on Christ, ready to do whatever He has planned for me, as crazy as it may seem beforehand.

The second experience, which actually happened before the one I just described, happened on Christmas Eve.  Not sure why I'm going out of order here.  But hey- my blog, my rules! We had our Christmas Day celebration on Christmas Eve, due to Ben's work schedule.  And my mother in law wrote both Ben and I letters to read on Christmas Day.  In her letter, she described her experience with praying for Ben before he got into medical school.  She wanted him to get accepted into the University of Utah so that he could be close to home and have more options to find a wife.  And she really really wanted that and continued to pray for it fervently.  One day, however, she had the thought "If he doesn't get into the U, will you still trust me?" And she said out loud, "Yes! I will!" (This is me paraphrasing). And as many of you know, he didn't get into the U, but went to St. Louis instead.  Where he met his lovely wife (me) :) , started a family, etc.  So things worked out just the way they were supposed to. And it made me ask myself- will I still trust God if Ben doesn't match into a surgery spot? And the answer is yes! I will.  God has never led me astray and I have to trust and have faith that He never will. For God is the same yesterday, today, and forever.

So Trust.  That is the word that will guide me through this year.  All things will work together for my good.  God has promised that. And I am going to trust Him.