Be Still My Soul

Life is good.  I've just been overwhelmed today with love and gratitude for a Heavenly Father that has blessed me in abundance.  It just kind of all hit me at once this weekend.  I have an amazing husband with a solid surgeon job (which was his dream) for the next 5 years.  A husband that stayed awake for 36 hours straight to install our new dishwasher.  And then stayed up again until 1 am last night putting the kitchen back together again while I slept.  I have a new home that is slowly but surely coming together that I just absolutely love.  Being here just makes me happy.  Going out into our peaceful yard and watching Flint jump on the trampoline or play in the sand just makes my day.  The weather has finally decided to warm up and I've got the sunburn to prove it.  But I'm grateful for that sunburn because I'm grateful for the sun.  I have a beautiful baby girl who brings me joy and is loved by her family fiercely.  Basically, I really do feel like I have it all.

And it's crazy to think that all of that frustration and anxiety I felt over the last 3 years has just melted away.  God really did have it all planned out from the beginning and here I am, experiencing the blessings that he had in store for me all along.  His hand was in the minute details of my life.  Of my family's life.  I know other hard times will come, they always do.  But for now, I just want to thank God for everything.  The lows, the highs, and the in-betweens.  I want to remember what this feels like- which is why I'm writing it down.  God has always had my back and He always will.

I remember when I first felt "converted" to God.  I was 14, attending my grandmama's funeral.  For the first time in my life, I really needed to know if this whole claim that I would see my grandmama again was legit.  I prayed like I had never prayed before.  During the service, a missionary sang "Be Still My Soul."  His voice wasn't spectacular, but the spirit that was brought into that room was undeniable.  Those lyrics burned within me.  And I knew it was all true.  I knew.

I feel like that day was a keystone to my faith.  I look back on that day, and rehearse those lyrics in my mind constantly.  They bring me peace like nothing else can.  And the more time that passes, the more significant that day has become to me.  I will forever be grateful for that song.  And different lyrics bring me peace at different times in my life.  During the last 3 years, the lyrics, "to guide the future as he has the past" have been particularly significant.  God has always guided my past.  And time and hindsight have allowed me to see that.  So I must have faith that he will always, always guide my future.  And now that I'm sitting on the other side of the "match day trial," I see once again that that promise has held true.

God is good and he wants to bless us with more than we can fathom.  I have learned this lesson so many times and yet it still astonishes me how much the Lord is truly on my side. Be still my soul, the Lord is on thy side.  With patience bear thy cross of grief or pain.  Leave to thy God to order and provide. In every change, He faithful will remain.  Be Still, my soul.  They best, thy heavenly friend.  Through thorny ways, leads to a joyful end.