I Stand All Amazed

Ok let me first say that I wrote this huge long post and then the blogger freaked out and I lost it all!!! I am a little frustrated, but I am going to just rewrite it I guess because I can't leave my readers hanging! (All 3 of them... haha)  So last weekend was my roommate Michelle's birthday, so we celebrated pretty much all weekend.  On Friday night, Heidi and I took Michelle to Chili's for dinner.  Hilary was unable to join us because she went home for the weekend for her dad's birthday.  Afterwards we went to a flag football game and then out for frozen yogurt.  Saturday I worked and then we went to a ward activity, which was a bonfire with other activities such as carving pumpkins, watching a movie etc.  It was a good time.  Once we got back home Heidi baked Michelle a cake and then we watched a movie.  My original post had a much more detailed description of my weekend, but this will just have to do because I can't really remember what exactly I wrote.  

Sunday was an absolutely wonderful day.  My meetings before church were so productive and went very smoothly.  For the first time I felt a calm feeling about my job as the relief society president and I didn't feel so ridiculously inadequete, like I usually do.  I know the Lord has been building me up this whole time so I could eventually get to this point and then do an even better job.  Church itself was so fabulous.  Sacrament meeting had excellent talks that were based on talks given in general conference, so of course they were great.  Then for Sunday school I go to mission prep, mostly because my roommate teaches it and because the class is a lot smaller than gospel doctrine.  Going on a mission is still kind of on my mind, so we'll see what happens.  But the lesson was so great.  Heidi taught it on how we can use the Book of Mormon to answer "questions of the soul" (i.e. Where did we come from? Is there a God? Why do we go through trials?)  I felt the spirit so strongly and it was just a huge reminder to me of the sweet truth of the Book of Mormon and how important it is.  I've been so busy reading everything but the Book of Mormon, that it has kind of been lost in the back drop of my life.  I'm in a Pearl of Great Price class right now, so I'm reading that, and then I have my own personal goal to read the Old Testament, so I haven't had much time to read the Book of Mormon.  I guess I should rephrase that.  I haven't made the time to read it.  But I was so grateful to be reminded of that in the lesson.  Then in relief society the lesson was on our relationships with our families.  The manual just had a bunch of letters that the prophet Joseph Smith had written to his family.  Through those letters we can learn how to have better relationships with our family and to truly cherish each person that we are related to.  It just reminded me of how blessed I am to have such a wonderful family.  I am very close to both of my parents and both of my brothers.  It is such a blessing because I know that a lot of people in the world do not have such healthy relationships with their family.  

After church my roommates and I went over the Michelle's sister's house to have dinner for her actual birthday.  It was a delicious meal and we had a lot of fun.  When we got home, my visiting teachers came over.  I was very grateful for this because I haven't really had visiting teachers since I've been out at BYU.  They are wonderful girls and showed sincere interest in my life, which is what visiting teaching is all about!  I was also very encouraged because they told me that I was going a good job as relief society president.  Yes, this was a small little thing to say but it meant a lot to hear that from someone that isn't my roommate or a member of the bishopric, since they see all of the work I do up front.  

I entitled my post today "I Stand All Amazed" for a few reasons.  First, I am just extremely overwhelmed by how much the Lord has blessed me with a wonderful family, friends, ward, classes, etc.  I almost feel undeserving of all of the many things the Lord has given me, especially since I have made my fair share of mistakes in my life.  I am always amazed that no matter how much I mess up, the Lord is always still there for me with open arms, just waiting for me to let Him make me whole again.  Second, I have continually been reminded of a scripture in Alma for the past few weeks.  It says that "all tings denote there is a God; yea, even the earth, and all things that are upon the face of it" (30:44)  As I walk to class I am amazed at the extreme beauty of everything around me.  Whether it be the red autumn leaves, the blue sky above, the sun shining down, warming my skin, or the majestic snow capped mountains standing tall right next to BYU.  The Lord's creations are so wonderful and I feel blessed to be constantly surrounded by them.  They truly denote that He is there, looking down upon all of us and that He loves us a whole beautiful earth's worth and then some.  

The final reason I would like to discuss is a matter that has been on my mind for a little over a month now and will continue to be on my mind for quite some time now.  A very dear family friend found out a little over a month ago that she has a brain tumor and it is pretty much inoperable.  When I first found this out, I was just in shock and couldn't believe that this was happening to her, the mother of 4 boys who are also very dear to me.  Her name is Michelle and she also has a blog that she uses to describe her journey through this hard time.  As I read her blog I am truly humbled to see how she is dealing with this.  She could have totally been angry at God for giving her such a hard trial or just simply thought that there wasn't a God at all, but instead she has found God in every aspect of her life as she battles through this.  I am so amazed at how positive she remains and how much stronger her testimony has become, which strengthens mine as well.  I am just simply impressed.  She is such a wonderful person and I always enjoy visiting her when I go home for breaks in between semesters.  She is so friendly, interested in others, and loving towards everyone she meets.  I am very saddened by this terrible news, but I am also very blessed to have known such an amazing person.  It just shows me that the worst of things happen to the best of people, and life still goes on.  

I stand all amazed at the many wonderful blessings that my calling have given me.  I stand all amazed at the beauty I am surrounded with on a dailiy basis.  I stand all amazed that I have people that love me unconditionally.  I stand all amazed that the Lord's hand is ever stretched forth to help me, if I will just let Him.

I stand all amazed at the love Jesus offers me. Confused at the grace that so fully He proffers me.  I tremble to know that for me He was crucified, that for me, a sinner, He suffered, He bled, and died.  Oh it is wonderful, that He should care for me, enough to die for me.  Oh it is wonderful, wonderful to me.  (1st verse of ''I Stand All Amazed")