"Oh I could never do that"

I am a surgeon's wife.  Or to be more specific, a surgery resident's wife.  Because of this, I am often met with people saying things to me like "Oh I could never do that," "I could never raise children being so far away from family" "I could never live with the schedule your husband works" or something along those lines.  And while I am used to hearing these things, it has really got me thinking lately.

A dear friend of mine, Emily, who was originally my Young Women's leader when I was a teenager, was diagnosed with MS years ago.  I remember being so saddened by this news (I believe I was at BYU when it happened) and thought "Wow she is so strong, I could never do that."  And then one Sunday I was visiting St. Louis in my home ward and was sitting in Relief Society.  I don't remember the topic of the lesson, or even who the teacher was.  But what I do remember is a comment my friend Emily made.  She talked about how people often say to her "you are so strong, I could never do that" (and of course I immediately thought, yep I think that), and she's like, but why? Why do you think I'm strong enough? Before I was diagnosed, I would have said that same thing, but here I am, dealing with it, and have found that you rise to your circumstances.  And with God's support, you become strong and are able to handle whatever comes your way.  (I will admit those were probably not her exact words, but the message is still the same.) But wow what a message, right?

Why do we think we can't do hard things? Of course none of us will ever wish illness upon ourselves, or any hardship for that matter, but what if we approached our trials with a different perspective? A more eternal perspective.  Two years ago I was saying things like "I can't even handle the thought of not matching." And then we didn't match.  And then a year ago I was like "I can't even if we don't match again." And we didn't.  And now here I am- I survived those two years! And I have learned that I'm approaching this year's match differently.  What if we don't match? You know what- God will  provide! He always does! And I can handle it.  I can do all things through Christ, who strengthens me.

So yes, Ben's schedule is hard.  Super hard.  But here I am, handling it.  And you could too if you were in my shoes.  And I have children and I don't live by my parents (which sucks).  But you know what? Here I am, handling it.  And you can too.  The Lord provides and makes up the difference for when you "can't even." I have an amazing tribe of women here in Danville that have become my family.  And the Lord has blessed me with that.  It's what I needed to handle the hardships I face.

When we tell ourselves that we can't do something, we are limiting ourselves.  A girl said to me the other day that she just knows that she is the type of person that couldn't handle raising children while away from her family.  Because she knows herself.  I'd like to challenge that thinking though.  You don't know yourself like you think you do.  God knows the real you, the true you.  Only he knows what you are truly capable of.

To go off of my last post- a lot of dealing with my shyness has been in direct correlation to what I'm talking about today.  I had just accepted that I was shy and that I couldn't do certain things, like approach someone I didn't know.  Or speak out in a group of outgoing people.  But as I drew closer to God, and my confidence in my ability to overcome my shyness increased, I realized that God knew I had it in me the whole time.  I just didn't.  I thought I had figured myself out.  But I was wrong.  And I'm glad that I was.

I had a major break through with myself when I went to Israel.  I was able to break out of my shell and make some life long friends.  As I pondered on this, and thanked God over and over again for helping me reach out to people and make friends quickly, I suddenly realized that I had never felt more like myself in my entire life.  And the spirit whispered to me, "This is the Grace that I created, take her home with you."

The person that God created is the real you.  The true you.  And that person can do hard things.  I can do hard things.  And it is by doing hard things that you come to learn this about yourself and come to see the person that God created.  So just think about that the next time you think "Oh I know myself and I could never do that." Because the odds are, it isn't true.  We were all made as beings with everlasting and divine potential.  We were not made to fail.  And if we do fail (which we will), God will make up the difference.