2 More Days Until Freedom

Ok yes I know it has been quite a while since I last updated my blog, and for that I really am sorry, but December has been the craziest of crazy months.  I haven't had time to do a lot of things I need/want to do.  So what have I been up to this month you ask? Well it seems to all be a blur to me but I'll try and remember.  I turned 21 on December 8th.  And no it doesn't feel any different for all of you that are wondering.  I always thought that was a weird question to ask.  Nothing physically changed about me or anything just because I turned 21.  I don't feel any older, even though I guess I technically am.  21 does sound a lot older than 20 for some reason.  I guess I do feel a little older when I find out that girls I thought were my same age in the relief society are only 19.  And some are only 18! It is quite interesting to feel that way, but hey I'm used to it by now.  So my birthday was on a Monday so we celebrated the weekend before.  I wasn't really up to a huge party for some reason, so we just did something small.  On Friday night I went out to dinner with my roommates.  We went to CPK (California Pizza Kitchen).  I hadn't been there in quite a while, so it was really tasty and fun.  Then Saturday I worked all day and then went out to dinner and a movie with my coworker afterwards.  We went to Village Inn and then to see Australia.  I would highly recommend it, but just as a warning it is rather long.  But I have a weird taste in movies, so who knows if you can really trust me, right? lol

Then my actual birthday was really great.  My roommate, Hilary made breakfast for me and then decorated the whole apartment.  It was really thoughtful and nice.  My other roommates also gave me gifts, which was great.  Heidi gave me nail polish, which was awesome because I've been needing some new colors, and she actually got nail polish that stays on for more than day. lol  That's the kind I usually buy because I'm so cheap. haha.  Then Michelle gave me some stuff for scrapbooking that was super cute.  Can't wait to use it.  My family also sent me a birthday box with presents in it.  Then my dad sent me flowers that day which were beautiful.  I love getting flowers.  He also sent me cinnamon bears for some odd reason because I'm not a huge fan of those.  He loves them though so he said it was to remind me of him. lol.  But my roommate Hilary loves them so she has enjoyed them! :)  Hilary then took me out to my favorite restaurant - PF Changs.  Heidi and our friend Ashley came along, and it was really great.  At FHE that night we played my new game that my mom got me - Partini.  It was really fun.  Then we had cake and sang.  Overall it was a great day.  

That week however was crap because I had 3 papers due so I spent many sleepless nights working on those.  Fortunately my roommate Hilary was going through a similar situation so we stayed up together, which made it more fun.  Then this week has been finals, which is always extremely time consuming.  So I haven't had much time to do anything except study and take finals.  And I still have work this week, so that's been crazy as well.  But tomorrow is my last day of finals! So it will all be over soon and then I fly home Friday morning.  I absolutely can't wait.  Every year I think I can't miss my family more than I miss them right now (which is how I'm feeling right now) but I probably miss them about the same every year and have just forgotten what I felt like. lol.    But needless to say, I'm excited to see everyone.  

So that's pretty much what has been going on with me.  Busy Busy Busy! Which is why I need a long deserved break at home with the people I love most.  Well that's all I have for now, I don't know if I'll be writing on here much while I'm in St. Louis, so if I don't then Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!! 2009 is going to be an awesome year!!!  I can just feel it.  

Christmas Time is Here

                                              

Hello all.  This is a video of one of the guys I work with dancing.  Yes it is sideways, and I have tried and tried and tried to rotate it, but to no avail.  So oh well, you can just turn your head.  Thanksgiving was a wonderful day (that's when I made this video.)  I worked at the house with the guys and made a huge Thanksgiving feast for everyone.  My coworker Tasha joined us around 3.  It was a great meal and enjoyed by all.  All of the guys were in a great mood, especially Kurt who ate so much food it was crazy.  Later on, another house of guys joined us to eat pie.  We had SO much pie it was intense.  I only ate one piece after everyone left because I was so incredibly stuffed all day.  But it all tasted good.  We also watched Charlie Brown Thanksgiving and did some Thanksgiving crafts.  Overall it was a fantastic day - one of the best Thanksgivings ever.  Here's a picture of all of us:

                                          

From left to right, it's Brian, me, Kurt, Tasha, and Scott.  Greg was having Thanksgiving with his family that day.  But overall it was a great day.  I worked until midnight, so it was a long day, but still a good day.  The next day I woke up and drove down to my Grandma's for the rest of the weekend.  When I got there everyone was eating leftover Thanksgiving dinner, so I joined them. The weekend was really great and very relaxing.  My two uncles that live down there as well were there of course, then my uncle from Logan was also there with his family.  We all had a lot of fun.  Friday night I went with my aunt and her daughters to a wedding reception.  They were just working in the kitchen so I was helping them serve food and such.  Saturday I chatted with all my aunts while everyone was getting their hair done.  (My aunt from Logan does hair)  We talked about everything from music to the new movie Twilight that just came out.  That night I learned to play Rook, and we played it for like 4 hours.  I never could win, but oh well it was still a lot of fun.  Sunday was another relaxing day.  I went to church with Grandma and Grandpa then had dinner afterwards.  I then left to go see my aunt who lives in Pleasant Grove.  I spent a few hours over there and then finally went home.  It was a great weekend. 

Now I just need to get through the next 2 weeks of classes and then its finals.  Only 19 more days until I go home! And I turn 21 in exactly one week.  I can't believe how fast it's all going.  So it's Christmas time officially now, and it's not even cold! And I live in Utah for crying out loud! It was actually warm today.... people were wearing short sleeve shirts and shorts... crazy.  Oh well it'll get cold soon enough so I should enjoy the warmth while I still can.  

Well Christmas time is coming, which means it's time for Christmas music!! Here are my favorite Christmas songs.  Getting ready for the season!

1. Do you hear what I hear? by Vanessa Williams

2. Let it Snow by Dean Martin

3. Believe by Josh Groban

4. Wonderful Christmas Time by Paul McCartney

5. All I Want For Christmas is You by Mariah Carey

6. Rockin' Around the Christmas Tree by Brenda Lee

7. Christmas Time is Here by Vince Giraldi

8. Christmas Don't be Late by Alvin and the Chipmunks

9. O Holy Night by Josh Groban

10. Still Still Still by Anyone really...

That's about it for now, the countdown continues for so many things, such as my birthday, finals, Christmas break, Christmas day, and then New Years.  December is the best month of the year! You can't convince me otherwise!

A Time For Thanks

Well believe it or not, Thanksgiving 2008 is upon us.  I'm more on the not believe side, because I still feel as if 2008 just started, but alas, it is only in a few short days.  As I look back on my life I realize that I have SO much to be grateful for.  I have been blessed with so much, and I'm not always aware of why I have been this blessed, but I do know that I have a great responsibility to do everything I can with the bounteous things that I have been given throughout my life.  I was pondering random things last night as I waited to drift off to sleep.  As I thought about my situation with not going home for Thanksgiving and what not, missing old friends, and reflecting on times of the past I was overwhelmed with such a grand sense of gratitude like I had never experienced before.  As thoughts of unfairness about my inability to travel home started to take over, my mind began to think of my life in general and how amazingly blessed I have been.  My mind as never worked that way before.  It was almost as if someone had taken my brain and picked certain events and memories from it and showed them to me as if I were watching a movie of my own life.  I watched myself go through so many happy times with my best friends, leaders I have looked up to, warm times with my family, and other fun things I have had the opportunity to experience in my life.  It was a perspective that I have sadly not thought of before.  I realized that the Lord has blessed me with such amazing people in my life.  Whether I am still in contact with them now is insignificant, the point is that I was blessed to have them in my life when I most needed them.  I'd like to reflect on a few things I have been grateful for this year specifically, and then other things that I am grateful for in general.  They are in no specific order because I am so grateful for everything I have in my life.  

2008:

1. I have had a lot of good times in 2008.  Unfortunately I have had a lot of really hard, depressing times as well, so it took me a long time to realize that I have had many good times as well.  I did a lot of fun things with my old roommate, Charissa, and my friend Barbara.  They are and still are very dear to me and I am grateful for the fact that I can be myself around them no matter what the circumstance and there is never a dull moment when I am around them.  

2. I had the opportunity to travel home to St. Louis twice so far this year.  Once in April, I surprised my family by driving home with my friend Barbara.  And the other time I flew home to visit for a week in August.  It's always so fun to be able to spend time with those that I love the most.  

3. I was put into a new ward at the beginning of this year, which was the BYU 245th ward.  I was extremely blessed to have an amazing bishopric that really took an interest in me.  I am still in this ward and I still feel so blessed to work my bishop and his counselors.  They are so sincere and loving and I just love to be around them every Sunday.  

4. My roommates this year have been a true blessing in my life.  I haven't had the best of roommates in general and was finally blessed with amazing ones this year.  I love having late night talks with my roommate Hilary and going out with my other roommates Heidi and Michelle on a regular basis.  I have really enjoyed getting to know them better and become true friends with them.  

5. My grandparents are celebrating their 50th anniversary this year and it has been such a blessing to have them as examples in my life.  We had a family celebration for the event in August, even though their actual anniversary is in December.  I loved to hear the stories of how they met and got married and the many sacrifices that they have gone through over the years to raise 8 kids on a farm.  I was amazed and realized that happiness really does come from doing what is right and being with your family as opposed to having material things in life.  

6. I have an amazing job that I just started this year.  I work with 4 mentally handicapped adult men, as many of you know.  I am so glad I have this job because prior to it, I was always uncomfortable around people with mental handicaps.  This has taught me to know that they are loving people and I really enjoy going to work.  I also have great coworkers and have made many friendships while working there.  

7. I was called as relief society president this semester, and wow has it been incredible.  Yes it isn't always the easiest calling to magnify, but I have found that as I truly try to magnify it to the best of my abilities, the Lord has made up for the rest and blessed me beyond my capacity.  I have been blessed to get to know so many amazing girls in my ward, especially my counselors who I am so grateful for every single day.  They truly help me with whatever I need and I don't know where I would be without them.  

8.  It was election year this year, and it was my first time to be able to vote for the president.  I am so grateful to be living in a country that has such a smooth running government.  I am grateful for the opportunity to vote and that my candidate won! :) haha.  Not only that, but I am grateful to live in a country that doesn't break out into war whenever there is an change in power.  It's a greater blessing than many of us realize.  

In general:

1. I have truly been blessed with an amazing family.  My mother has truly become my best friend as I've grown up, and I'm so grateful for the relationship I have with her.  I can tell her anything and she is one of the few, if not the only person that knows me well enough to know when something is wrong in my life.  I can confide in her, and I am grateful to finally be old enough for her to confide in me as well.  

2. My father has also been a great blessing in my life.  He is such a hard worker and does everything he can to support me and my family.  He also is a great example to me of spiritual strength and I am glad to have him as a priesthood holder in my life.  I have a very healthy, strong relationship with him and I know he loves me very much, as I love him.

3. My younger brother, Parker (Pooky) is another person that I absolutely adore.  He is such a compassionate, loving person that I learn so much from.  He constantly stands out from his friends by choosing the right and sticking to what he knows to be good.  He is kind to everyone and is hardly ever judgemental of other's faults.  He is also a great role model for my youngest brother, Ethan, and I am glad he is there to help him along.

4. My youngest brother, Ethan, who has so many nicknames it would take a whole blog entry to write them all is such a joy in my life.  Although it saddens me that he is starting to grow up, because he will always and forever be a baby in my eyes, he has been such a blessing in my life.  He always has the capacity to cheer me up no matter what.  I love going home because he has such an outward expression of love towards me that shows me how much he misses having me around.  He wants me to spend a lot of time with him and vocalizes it.  

5. I have been blessed with so many other amazing people in my life that have shaped who I am today.  The Leimburgs are one of the first people I think of.  Kerry has been such a great "second mother" to me and I always enjoy her company.  Sally and Danny are also a joy to be around and I have loved having them be close family friends of mine.  

6. Although I'm not in contact with all of them anymore, I have been blessed with a lot of very close friends over the years.  Not many people have the opportunity to get to know so many people on such a personal level, and I am so grateful to have had that opportunity.  To name just one - my friend Elizabeth has been such an amazing friend to me for over 10 years now.  She is such a positive influence in my life and we remain close no matter how much time passes between us seeing each other.  That is what true friendship is all about.  

7. I guess this is a 2008 and in general one, but I am so grateful to be the granddaughter of Papa Joe.  He passed away this past March, which was a great tragedy for me, but I still have loved visiting with him and seeing him on various occasions through out my life.  You never doubted his love for you and he was the kindest and gentlest man I think I will ever know in my life.  

8. I am so grateful to have the gospel in my life.  I don't know where'd I be without it.  It blesses me with so much: the scriptures, the opportunity to serve others at church, the knowledge that God loves me and that through the sacrifice of His only begotten Son, I can repent of my imperfections and become a better person, the knowledge that I will see my loved ones that have passes on again, the gift of prayer, which gives me the opportunity to kneel down and pour my heart's desires out to a loving Heavenly Father at any time during the day, a living prophet that leads this church and gives amazing counsel that will guarantee make my life better and happier, and the opportunity I have to be sealed to my family for time and all eternity.  

Gratitude really is a key to being happy.  As I have considered my many wonderful blessings, I have realized that I should never have any reason to feel sad or depressed.  Although I will feel this way at times, if I can remember to count my many blessings, those times will become more far and in between the great times in my life.

When upon life's billows you are tempest tossed, When you are discouraged, thinking all is lost, Count your many blessings, name them one by one, And it will surprise you what the Lord hath done.

Better In Time

Well not too much as happened since my last post.  I always find it funny how I am so amazingly busy, and yet my life seems to remain the same day to day, so there's really not that much to tell! This past weekend was pretty blah.  I didn't do much.  I guess that has to happen sometimes.  Hopefully not too often though.  Church on Sunday was good though.  It usually is.  After church we had a dinner at my apartment with people from the ward.  Hilary, my roommate cooked Brazilian food for ever that was really great.  It was called "dinner in a pumpkin."  You scrape out a pumpkin, and then smear the inside with cream cheese.  After that you cook the pumpkin in the over until its tender and ready to eat.  While the pumpkin is cooking you sautee chicken, garlic, and onions together.  After the chicken is fully cooked, you add tomatoes (diced up and blended).  Then you pull the pumpkin out and pour the chicken into the pumpkin and mix it all up, scraping some of the pumpkin into the mixture.  Then you serve that over rice.  It was really yummy!  But yeah we had a good turn out, there were about 15-20 people that came.  So I'd call that a success.  Hopefully we can do it more often.  

Then we had FHE last night.  We tied baby blankets for a service project.  We also served leftovers from the dinner we had on Sunday.  Oh and I also baked a red velvet cake over the weekend that we served at the dinner and at FHE.  Everyone loved it!  With that being said, it was a little hard for me because at this time of year the main question asked is "Are you going home for Thanksgiving?"  So of course it was a huge conversation with my FHE group about how everyone is going home for Thanksgiving, how they would die if they couldn't go home, and a bunch of "if I can just make it to Thanksgiving then I can get through anything" being said.  Then there's always the awkward moment when I say that I'm not going home and people don't really know what to say.... I have come to terms with the fact that I'm not going home, but it just doesn't help when that's all that everyone talks about at this time of year.  Oh well, the time will pass and everything will be better then.  

It reminds me of the song "Better in Time" by Leona Lewis.  I just love this song because it just reminds me that no matter how bad it is, time will pass and everything will be ok.  Time heals everything!  That's a great lesson that I've learned this year.  I can't believe that this year is almost over.  I'll be at home for Christmas break in less than a month.  That is so insane.  Then it'll be time to celebrate the coming of the new year.  I still feel like it hasn't been 2008 long enough.  This has been one of the fastest years ever.  But I'm sure the years to come will be just as fast, if not faster.  Well once again its a short one, but that's all I've got to say for today, so until next time....

P.S. Mom and Dad- I would prefer to not get any comments referring to me not coming home.... I will not be happy with you!! :)

Baby It's Cold Outside

Ok let me first start out by saying how much I love my new design for my blog! I was having trouble finding a good one, which is why I just went with the brown one from before, but now I have found one that I really like.  It's great.  Well I'd like to mention a few things that have happened since my last post. As you all know, Barack Obama was elected as our next president on November 4th.  Of course I was very happy about it because I voted for him, but I am extremely disappointed with some of the reactions that I've been seeing around me, especially living in Utah and all.  Let me just tell you of a few examples.  One girl says that it's going to take a serious depression for the US to realize that it was a mistake to vote for Obama just because he's black.  OK come on! I for one did NOT vote for Obama because he's black.  The only reason she said that comment is because he's black.  So what if he is black? I voted for him, as I'm sure most other people did as well because of his political beliefs, not his skin color.  I'm just surprised that someone had the nerve to say that on an open internet site where many people could have taken offense to it.  I personally think it's amazing to look back at history and see the issues of slavery, the civil rights movement, and to now see that we have overcome a huge milestone in the racism issues of this country.  Obviously there is still racism and a lot of it, but it's still an amazing step in the right direction.  Alright onto more examples.  So then my friend sends me this text that was a forward which said the following : "According to the book of Revelation, the anti-Christ will be a man in his 40s, of MUSLIM decent, who will come out of nowhere, decieve the nations with persuasive language, and have a MASSIVE christ-like appeal.. that prophesy says that people will flock to him and he will promise false hope and world peace, and when he is in power, will destroy everything.  Is it OBAMA?"  There are so many things wrong with this its incredible how lame and ignorant people are.  I don't care if you didn't vote for Obama, but really? First of all, I'd like to know WHERE in the book of revelation does it say this? I've read that book, and i'm pretty sure the word "muslim" is not in there.  Plus OBAMA IS NOT MUSLIM.  Seriously, if you're going to insult our next president then at least pretend you are intelligent.  And finally, it is impossible for Obama to destroy everything once he is in power, because that's not the way our government works.  It's called checks and balances people.  If people knew anything about politics, they wouldn't say such stupid things.  And once again, I do not care if you voted for McCain, that is your right.  I just care if you come up with irrational, illogical statements that don't make sense.  But I guess it is your right to be uneducated as well.... even though it shouldn't be. haha.  My final statement about politics before I move onto a new topic is that I was really impressed with John McCain's conceeding speech.  Unfortunately not a lot of people have listened to it, or adhered to it, even though they should.  If you haven't had the chance to hear his speech, I would highly recommend looking it up.  And while you're at it, look up Obama's speech as well because it was also very good.  

Ok onto other things.  So this past weekend was good.  Friday night I had a game night/get together at my apartment for anyone in the ward that wanted to come.  I wasn't sure how many people would show up, but about 20 came. So it was a really good turnout, and the perfect amount for the size of my apartment.  Then I worked Saturday morning.  My coworker and I took the guys to the mall.  We shopped at various stores and it was a lot of fun.  They seemed to really enjoy it.  After work, I went back home and went out to dinner with my roommates.  Then we just hung out at our apartment afterwards and went and got Yozone.  I wasn't lying when I said it was a weekly tradition! This time I got dark chocolate and mint, it was amazing.  It's so weird, I used to hate the mint/chocolate combination, but now I absolutely love it, and it's one of my favorites.  So yesterday was Sunday and I was just wiped out all day.  I felt so physically tired that it was hard to get up and get going.  I was in some sort of meeting ALL day.  And I mean all day.  I had one at 7:30 AM, then church, then two meetings after church.  Then interviews with girls from 4-8 PM.  I literally went to bed at 8:30.  I don't think I've gone to bed that early since I was a small child.  Seriously that's just how tired I was.  Anyway, today has been one of the coldest days this semester and it has been raining all day, so it was extremely not fun to walk to class and I've been freezing all day.  Including right now.  I am SO cold!!  And it's still raining, so it's a pretty dreary day.  But other than that, my life continues to go well.  It's already less than a month before I turn 21.  It's so crazy! I don't feel like I am that old! I always wonder how old I will be before I really start to feel older.  Like I still feel like I just graduated from high school and yet I am going on my 3rd year of college.  I guess I feel more mature than I was in high school, but at the same time I don't feel old at all, not that 21 is even old. I asked my mom how old she was when she really started to feel like an adult once and she said it wasn't until her kids started going to school.  So I guess I have quite a ways before that happens!  Well I am in dire need of a nap, so I think I will leave you with that.  Until next time!

November already?

Is it really November? Wow does time fly.  I feel like I'm always saying that and it's so cliche, but it is oh so true.  Ok so it's been quite a while since I last wrote.  Let me update you on what I've been up to.  The weekend before last was pretty chill I don't think I did much.  To be honest, I don't really remember.  Then for FHE this past week we had a pumpkin carving night.  The pumpkins all turned out pretty good if I do say so myself.  Ours was of the BYU cougar, which was pretty intense to carve.  Then on Wednesday night we had enrichment night, where we had a "favorite things" dinner.  Everyone brought their favorite thing to eat.  We had a really good turn out and the food was all really yummy, even though it was pretty random.  Then Friday night was Halloween.  I am sad to admit that I actually didn't do anything.  I ended up taking a shift from one of my co-workers because she had a funeral to go to.  So I gave candy to trick or treaters all night.  Not a terribly fun night, but not a terrible night either.  Then on Saturday I worked all day until 4 and then got some dinner with my roommates.  We then watched a movie and went and got frozen yogurt.  It has become quite the tradition I must say.  We have a new place in our complex called Yozone, where you serve your self and then they charge you based on how much it weighs.  Its an awesome place and we have gone their every weekend since it has opened.  And its all fat free! haha.  

Ok so today is Sunday and it was such a great day.  My meeting before church went really well and then church itself went really good as well.  I taught the lesson today in Relief Society on how we can feel the spirit more often and more strongly in our lives.  I think it went pretty good.  A lot of people made comments and I feel like it went really smooth.  No awkward moments or anything. And that's always a good sign, right?  I guess I'm always hesitant to judge my own lessons or talks because I never really know how well I did.  So anyway, after church I had another meeting and then went to break the fast.  It was a good little ward activity.  

Oh and I voted!! First presidential election baby!  I voted for Obama for all of you that are wondering.  He just seemed like the better choice in my opinion.  There a few Obama supporters out here at BYU, but overall everyone is pretty republican out here. Surprise, surprise.  One guy was wearing a republican party tie today at church and I just had to chuckle to myself because BYU is pretty much the only place he could get away with that because anywhere else he would be punched or something.  Or at least yelled at.  lol.  Of course I'm being overdramatic, but still, I found it amusing.  

Alright, it's a short one today, but that's all folks!!

I Stand All Amazed

Ok let me first say that I wrote this huge long post and then the blogger freaked out and I lost it all!!! I am a little frustrated, but I am going to just rewrite it I guess because I can't leave my readers hanging! (All 3 of them... haha)  So last weekend was my roommate Michelle's birthday, so we celebrated pretty much all weekend.  On Friday night, Heidi and I took Michelle to Chili's for dinner.  Hilary was unable to join us because she went home for the weekend for her dad's birthday.  Afterwards we went to a flag football game and then out for frozen yogurt.  Saturday I worked and then we went to a ward activity, which was a bonfire with other activities such as carving pumpkins, watching a movie etc.  It was a good time.  Once we got back home Heidi baked Michelle a cake and then we watched a movie.  My original post had a much more detailed description of my weekend, but this will just have to do because I can't really remember what exactly I wrote.  

Sunday was an absolutely wonderful day.  My meetings before church were so productive and went very smoothly.  For the first time I felt a calm feeling about my job as the relief society president and I didn't feel so ridiculously inadequete, like I usually do.  I know the Lord has been building me up this whole time so I could eventually get to this point and then do an even better job.  Church itself was so fabulous.  Sacrament meeting had excellent talks that were based on talks given in general conference, so of course they were great.  Then for Sunday school I go to mission prep, mostly because my roommate teaches it and because the class is a lot smaller than gospel doctrine.  Going on a mission is still kind of on my mind, so we'll see what happens.  But the lesson was so great.  Heidi taught it on how we can use the Book of Mormon to answer "questions of the soul" (i.e. Where did we come from? Is there a God? Why do we go through trials?)  I felt the spirit so strongly and it was just a huge reminder to me of the sweet truth of the Book of Mormon and how important it is.  I've been so busy reading everything but the Book of Mormon, that it has kind of been lost in the back drop of my life.  I'm in a Pearl of Great Price class right now, so I'm reading that, and then I have my own personal goal to read the Old Testament, so I haven't had much time to read the Book of Mormon.  I guess I should rephrase that.  I haven't made the time to read it.  But I was so grateful to be reminded of that in the lesson.  Then in relief society the lesson was on our relationships with our families.  The manual just had a bunch of letters that the prophet Joseph Smith had written to his family.  Through those letters we can learn how to have better relationships with our family and to truly cherish each person that we are related to.  It just reminded me of how blessed I am to have such a wonderful family.  I am very close to both of my parents and both of my brothers.  It is such a blessing because I know that a lot of people in the world do not have such healthy relationships with their family.  

After church my roommates and I went over the Michelle's sister's house to have dinner for her actual birthday.  It was a delicious meal and we had a lot of fun.  When we got home, my visiting teachers came over.  I was very grateful for this because I haven't really had visiting teachers since I've been out at BYU.  They are wonderful girls and showed sincere interest in my life, which is what visiting teaching is all about!  I was also very encouraged because they told me that I was going a good job as relief society president.  Yes, this was a small little thing to say but it meant a lot to hear that from someone that isn't my roommate or a member of the bishopric, since they see all of the work I do up front.  

I entitled my post today "I Stand All Amazed" for a few reasons.  First, I am just extremely overwhelmed by how much the Lord has blessed me with a wonderful family, friends, ward, classes, etc.  I almost feel undeserving of all of the many things the Lord has given me, especially since I have made my fair share of mistakes in my life.  I am always amazed that no matter how much I mess up, the Lord is always still there for me with open arms, just waiting for me to let Him make me whole again.  Second, I have continually been reminded of a scripture in Alma for the past few weeks.  It says that "all tings denote there is a God; yea, even the earth, and all things that are upon the face of it" (30:44)  As I walk to class I am amazed at the extreme beauty of everything around me.  Whether it be the red autumn leaves, the blue sky above, the sun shining down, warming my skin, or the majestic snow capped mountains standing tall right next to BYU.  The Lord's creations are so wonderful and I feel blessed to be constantly surrounded by them.  They truly denote that He is there, looking down upon all of us and that He loves us a whole beautiful earth's worth and then some.  

The final reason I would like to discuss is a matter that has been on my mind for a little over a month now and will continue to be on my mind for quite some time now.  A very dear family friend found out a little over a month ago that she has a brain tumor and it is pretty much inoperable.  When I first found this out, I was just in shock and couldn't believe that this was happening to her, the mother of 4 boys who are also very dear to me.  Her name is Michelle and she also has a blog that she uses to describe her journey through this hard time.  As I read her blog I am truly humbled to see how she is dealing with this.  She could have totally been angry at God for giving her such a hard trial or just simply thought that there wasn't a God at all, but instead she has found God in every aspect of her life as she battles through this.  I am so amazed at how positive she remains and how much stronger her testimony has become, which strengthens mine as well.  I am just simply impressed.  She is such a wonderful person and I always enjoy visiting her when I go home for breaks in between semesters.  She is so friendly, interested in others, and loving towards everyone she meets.  I am very saddened by this terrible news, but I am also very blessed to have known such an amazing person.  It just shows me that the worst of things happen to the best of people, and life still goes on.  

I stand all amazed at the many wonderful blessings that my calling have given me.  I stand all amazed at the beauty I am surrounded with on a dailiy basis.  I stand all amazed that I have people that love me unconditionally.  I stand all amazed that the Lord's hand is ever stretched forth to help me, if I will just let Him.

I stand all amazed at the love Jesus offers me. Confused at the grace that so fully He proffers me.  I tremble to know that for me He was crucified, that for me, a sinner, He suffered, He bled, and died.  Oh it is wonderful, that He should care for me, enough to die for me.  Oh it is wonderful, wonderful to me.  (1st verse of ''I Stand All Amazed")

Goings On

Ok due to a demand for more pictures, I will try and include more pictures.  I will warn you, however, that I've been absolutely terrible with taking pictures this semester.  I need to repent and do better, so hopefully that'll happen.  I did take a few pictures this past weekend though, and this is one of them.  This is me and two of my roommates (Heidi and Michelle) at a bonfire that we went to this past weekend.  My friend Alex from St. Louis was having a bonfire in the canyon, so I brought my roommates.  It was pretty fun, and the weather was chilly, so perfect for a bonfire.  After the bonfire, we all headed home, where our other roommate, Hilary, was and we watched a movie.  It was a pretty good Friday night.  Then on Saturday I worked all day and then prepared for Sunday that evening.  My Saturdays are never really that exciting because I spend all of it either working or preparing for Sunday, which is always the busiest day of the week.  But I don't mind, because I actually enjoy it.

So my current goal of the week is to not spend too much money.  I'm so amazing terrible with money, and I really want to get better at it.  I have a full time job, so I make decent money, but I always seem to spend the same amount that I make in a 2 week period.  So I have enough money, but at the same time, I'm not saving any money, which is not a good thing.  So I'm trying to build my savings back up.  Plus with the current state of the economy, it's definitely a good idea to have money saved up.  So far, I think I've done pretty good with my goal to not spend money.  Yes I have spent a little bit of money, but not as much as I would normally spend.  I keep wanting to go shopping and buy new shoes or clothes, but I really don't need those things, and I have to constantly keep reminding myself of that so that I won't spend the money, even though I technically have it.  My desire to save also ties into my desire to live a simpler life once again.  I need to be grateful for all of the things I have, and cure my desire to always want more.  And if I don't want more, then I won't buy more! It all works out, if I can just do it.  

Well the elections are coming up, and I'm still really undecided as to who I want to vote for.  I used to be sucha huge Obama fan and I was positive that I was going to vote for him.  And I'm really not that big of a fan of McCain, but I really like his VP, Sarah Palin.  Plus once the campaigns really get going, then I always seem to kind of lose faith in both candidates and it turns into choosing the lesser of two evils instead of choosing someone that you really like.  I know a lot of people think that I am pretty conservative, because often times mormons seem that way.  (Or are that way.)  And in St. Louis, yes I was considered to be pretty conservative because everyone else around me seemed to be so liberal.  But out here in Utah it seems to be quite the opposite.  I'm not extremely liberal, but relatively, it does seem that way.  That's why I really consider myself to be moderate because my political beliefs have things in common with both the democratic and republican party.  I think both parties have good ideals, but putting them into practice is always the hard part.  I could go on and on about what my stances are on the various political topics, but that's way to complicated and would take too long, so I'll spare everyone.  :)  If you are curious, however, you can just ask, and maybe I'll consider writing a post on it.  I think that's all I've got for today, so until next time!

The Small Things in Life

In my effort to start living a simpler life and really enjoying the journey, I have decided that a good dose of gratitude for the small things is exactly what I need.  And where is a better place to express appreciation than on a blog, right??  What I'd like to do is to think of 10 small instances that have happened to me in the past month or so, or maybe just since school has started that I failed to realize were a true blessing, and acknowledge them, mainly just for my own sake, and you are the lucky person that gets to read about them.  

1. The other day my little brother Parker called me out of nowhere just to talk! When I say little I really mean a 6 foot 3 17 year old, but he's still little to me!  It was such a blessing to me to be able to talk to my busy brother, especially when he's the one that made the first contact!

2. I have quite a few friends that are out on missions right now, and it is always such a joy to receive a letter from any of them in the mail! I have probably received 5 letters from different people in the past 3 weeks, and it has been so great.

3. We had cleaning checks in our apartments yesterday and it was a really busy day for me because I had class then work until midnight, and the checks were going to occur while I was at work.  So I didn't find the time to vaccuum my room, but then when I got home from work, I saw that one of my roommates had vaccuumed for me!  Luckily, we all passed the check!

4. I wrote in my journal last night, and it had been about a month since I had written.  Time is moving so fast that I found it really hard to find the time to write this past month.  So needless to say, it was a very long entry, and I got all of my fears, thoughts, trials out on paper, and wow was it therapeutic.  I just feel so much lighter today and a lot less stressed and I know it's because I had the opportunity to write in my journal.  Don't worry though, I will not slack again, I've already written in it again today! haha (Those of you who know me really well will understand my journal obsession).

5. I already mentioned this in my last blog, but listening to conference this past weekend was such a true blessing.  It is so amazing that we have a living prophet of God on the earth today, and have the opportunity to listen to his words twice a year.  I am so blessed to have the knowledge that I do and I have truly been blessed with the desire to change and make my life better, which I can do by following the counsel that I received this past weekend.

6. A few days ago, I had the opportunity to go to dinner with a new girl I met from the ward.  I have had such a struggle with making new friends out at BYU, that it was so awesome to be able to start a new friendship and enjoy her company.  I'm sure we will become much better friends over the semester.

7. I am attending a mission prep class right now at BYU, and even though I'm not entirely sure on whether or not I want to serve a mission, this class has been absolutely amazing.  My teacher, Prof. Bott really knows what he is talking about, and he's such a humble man that teaches with such power that is is so awesome.  I learn so much every time I am in that class, and that's how classes should be! I am truly uplifted every time I go, and have been truly blessed to be able to become a part of it. 

8. The past few months have been probably the hardest trials I have ever gone through, and the darkest time in my life.  I kept praying to Heavenly Father and yet I felt so alone and abandoned by Him.  In retrospect, I was the one who abandoned him, but that can wait for another blog entry.  Everything has been going so well this semester with school, work, and my calling that it has just been reminder after reminder after reminder that Heavenly Father is aware of me and loves me enough to pay so much attention to me out of his billions and billions of creations. 

9.  A few years ago I made this CD with "Spooky Tunes" on it for Halloween.  I just remembered that I had it today so I popped it into my CD player in my car and have been listening to it here and there all day, and it has just made me smile! It's quite the good mix, I must admit.  You can ask me what's on it, if you are really curious. :)

10. And for my final "small" thing of the month, this past Monday, we had FHE and it turned out to be a lot of fun.  Our group is a lot of fun and I really enjoy interacting with everyone in it.  We had a short lesson and played a few games, and it was a really good evening.  

Well there you have it folks!! I really wanted to mix it up by showing the Lord's hand in my life, even in the small things, and just small things in general that bring a smile to my face.  I want to do this more often because recognizing these things in my life can make me a happier person.  Maybe you should try it too!  Well I think that's all I've got to say for now, so later!

Thoughts on Happiness

Man, I feel like I'm so behind with all of my blogging, having only one (I guess 2 now). But you gotta start somewhere, right? So this past weekend was conference weekend.  I actually had tickets for the conference center in Salt Lake for Saturday morning and Sunday afternoon, but it just never quite seemed to work out going up there or anything, so I actually ended up going to Logan to visit my aunt and uncle for the weekend, with my other aunt and her family that lives in Pleasant Grove.  Yes, I was a little disappointed that I couldn't go to Salt Lake, but it ended up being a really awesome weekend.  My aunt in Logan is a hair stylist, so she did my hair, and we did nails, went shopping, watched conference, etc.  What more could you ask for, right?

So conference was so wonderful, of course.  But a large part of that is because I really prepared myself for it this time, and wow what a difference it makes!  I found a common theme in all of the talks, which was a message of hope even when times are tough.  It's always so comforting for me to know that even general authorities go through hard times, and that they need to hear messages of hope just as much as I do.  I felt so uplifted and encouraged.  One of the talks mentioned that we need to live simpler lives, and be happier with what we have and express gratitude for all of our many blessings.  Then in my aunts house, they had a quote displayinig that said "Happiness is not having what you want, it's wanting what you have."  I have had this thought occur to me multiple times over the past month or so, and I really believe that it is SO true.  Living a simple life makes you realize that the most important things in life aren't for sale.  As long as you have the necessities of life, and people that love you, life is good.  And fortunately, I have been blessed with a lot of those.  

My thoughts don't stop at pondering the secret to happiness, however.  With happiness, I have thought a lot lately about the key to being miserable as well.  I have decided that a main thing to being unhappy is selfishness.  I think this because having happy, healthy relationships is SO important, and succeeding in this leads to such joy.  And being selfish is pretty much the number one thing that prevents people from having happy healthy relationships.  Remember, this is just my opinion, so of course some may disagree (but they'd be wrong of course ;) ).  When people are selfish, friendships can't flourish, marriages can't succeed, family ties are strained, etc.  I think we're getting the point here.  I just think that when you're in a relationship, whether it be with a friend, husband, wife, child, or sibling, love is a key factor.  For me, love means that the other person's well-being is a higher priority than your own.  And of course, the other person would think that your well-being is more important than theirs.  That's how it really should work, and is a lot harder to do than just saying it, of course.  If both of you are on the same page though, everything would be amazing, right?  Obviously I am not perfect at this, and most people aren't because most of us by nature are selfish beings and have to work to think of others before ourselves.  

Since no one is perfect at this, forgiveness is also an important factor.  This can be so amazingly hard (at least for me!), which of course means its all that more important!  As much as I'd like to discuss my thoughts on forgivness, I want to keep my blogs on a somewhat short and sweet status, so I think I'm done for the day.  If you can't tell, this blog is more about how I think and feel about things rather than what I actually do, but I'll try and throw a little of that in every once in a while.  So until next time!!

So much on my mind...

Wow, ok, so this whole blogging thing has finally got the better of me.  Everyone else seems to be doing it, so I decided I would join!  It's a little intimidating because I don't really know where to begin or how to start, so I guess I'll just try to start from where I am today.  

I'm sitting here in my apartment, just thinking about everything, and realizing that I haven't had a moment of having a clear head for such a long time that it's actually kind of ridiculous.  I guess that's normal for some, if not most people, but this whole growing up thing is kinda weird for me because I'm so used to being care free and not having to worry about things that really truly matter (even though as a teenager I guess I thought things were important that really weren't).  Ha - I say that like it was SO long ago.... I'm only 20.... almost 21 though! I feel like the older I get though, the more weight I have to take on, and the more I ultimately have to worry about.  So the point of this entry is just to sort out all of the things I think about, minus the few things that aren't appropriate for an internet blog.  

First, there's that huge thing to think about called school!  I've changed my major 3 times now, and now I've finally decided on a history teaching major.  Although I am really enjoying my history classes, for the most part, I still wonder if this is really what I'm supposed to be doing.  I'm becoming slowly more sure of it, but there is still that doubt, you know?  My dad gave me a blessing before school started that said as this year went by I would feel more and more confident that I chose the right major to study, and I guess so far that has been true, so I just need to trust it.  I have always been against the whole teaching thing, because I always thought it was such a cop out major (no offense to all those teachers out there!) and I was resisting and resisting what I knew I was meant to do.  I'm almost a little ashamed to tell people what my major is because my whole life I've said that I wasn't going to be a teacher... but hey here I am eating my words because that's what I'm going to be doing.  I think it's a wise decision nonetheless, and I feel good about it, even though there's a little part of me that is resisting it.  

I'm also working full time while going to school full time this year, which has actually been a blessing in disguise.  Yes, I am pretty much the busiest I have ever been, and I don't usually like being busy, but the more I get used to it, the more I realize that I kind of like it because I am so much more productive and get things done.  And I find I am happiest when I am being productive.  I work with mentally handicapped adults in their home.  There are 4 guys living there, Greg, Kurt, Scott, and Brian.  I just help them do things that they can't do for themselves, like giving them meds, cooking, cleaning, and taking them out to do activities around Provo.  It tries my patience at times, but overall it's been a really good job.  I work 3-midnight, and they all go to bed at like 8, so I have those 4 hours to do homework, or just have time to myself, which is always nice.  And I'm more likely to do my homework at work, than at home because I'd get distracted with other things.  So there's the blessing.  Being this busy has also caused time to move ridiculously fast.  I canNOT believe its already October, I know so many people say that, but I feel like I can't even keep up with it all sometimes.  

On top of this amazingly busy schedule, I was called as the relief society president of my ward this year.  This has been such an interesting experience for me.  What's weird is that I thought I knew how I'd react if I got called to this weighty calling, but my reaction was nothing like I expected.  Watching myself go through this has been almost an out of body experience because it has showed me how much I've changed in the past few year, being in college and all...  Let's see, one word to describe my reaction? Scared.  And that's only the tip of the iceburg.  I got called like the 2nd or 3rd day of school, and then wasn't sustained until 2 weeks later, so I couldn't tell anyone outside of my family and roommates.  During those 2 weeks I felt so overwhelmed with fear that I wouldn't be able to do this, that my shyness was going to prevent me from doing what I needed to do, etc.  I lay awake at night, not being able to sleep night after night after night.  I couldn't turn my brain off. Everyone that knew seemed to have such faith in me, and yet I found it hard to find the faith to believe in myself.  The first Sunday that they announced it was probably one of the scariest things I've ever done.  This may sound stupid to some people, but I was literally shaking because I was so nervous.  Don't worry though, this story ends happily, now that it's been a month, I have found great comfort in this calling and have learned to truly love it as I've come to know all of the girls in my ward.  My counselors have been amazing and I don't know what I'd do without them.  Plus my roommates have been such a great support to me as well.  The Lord has truly blessed me beyond what I deserve in order to have the ability to do this calling.  

I could go on and on and on for days about my reaction to this calling, but I won't.  :)  It may sound like I'm comlaining about my hectic schedule, but really I actually love it, and it's been a huge blessing.  My life is finally coming together and I feel happy.  And that's always a good thing, right?  Well that's a very small fraction of what's been on my mind as of late, but I think I will stop there, and save some for later!